Road Rage… I Will Always Win…
Posted: May 4th, 2010 | Author: Clever Minx | Filed under: Random | 2 Comments »Anyone who’s ridden in a car with me knows that I’m a pretty damn good driver… aside from the time I decided it was a good idea to park my Impreza into about 4 other cars at 2:30 on a Friday morning 5 or so years ago, but thats another story and a mug shot I haven’t gotten from the P.D. yet…
I digress, luckily I’m able to keep my anger issues behind the wheel for those special moments when it’s just me alone in my car and the other asshole on the road. Like today for instance… So I leave my shit job, get in my car and get to driving the same damn way I do every day (for the past 3 days), about halfway home on a busy road this jackass in a newer Honda Accord comes pulling RIGHT up on my ass, I can’t say I blame him, but thats not the point! And I mean RIGHT on my ass, like 3 feet away from my bumper going 40mph. I got to thinking I could really use a new rear bumper (or fuck it, a new car) since I backed into a ’75 Cadillac about 5 months ago, shut up, you know those things are made of reinforced steel.
Anyway, so I brake check the mother fucker… Hard. NOTHING, asshole gets up right behind me again and giving me nasty looks that I can see in the mirror. So I start pacing the car to my right who’s doing just under 35 (the speed limit) and you can just see the anger on this guys face as I keep slowing down to keep with the car on my right so he can’t go past. If I had any real sense in me I would have just slammed on the brakes and let him plow right into me, I was 2 seconds away from doing it and flying out of my car to his to give him the best pummling this little girl who just learned how to punch correctly could give, but I really had to pee so I decided against it. No sense in pissing your pants before the cops get there…
Well, mother fucker decided to grow a pair and pulls out left into ONCOMING traffic to pull infront of me, and of course as I expect, brake checks the shit out of me and goes 20 all the way to the stop light, all the while flipping me off and screaming into his rear view mirror as if I could hear or gave a fuck about his uneducated musings about how I was some stupid cunty bitchy driver blah blah blah. In response to this, I give him a HUGE smile and start waving frantically as if he was a long lost friend that I’d not seen in years. That upset him, which made me happy. And he got even more angry, so I blew him a kiss, which made him even more angry! Then he pulls over into the other lane and rolls down his window hoping to end up side by side with mine at the light. He didn’t because he’s a fucking idiot, so he’s yelling at me as I drive on by and flash him a sweet smile and the bird.
See what I did there? That’s called winning.
Haha, is your Impreza boosted? I could see you getting a ticket with a turbo under the hood.
I agree with you, I hate people that do that. I have a Nissan 240sx, so all the Honda guys either a.) try to race me or b.) ride my ass hoping I’d drop a gear and take off. I usually piss them off by going slow not allowing them to pass or stair at them like their idiots.
[...] I think my commute is pretty annoying, it seems like every asshole on the road is attracted to my car every time the key goes into the ignition. I take back when I said that driving was ever relaxing. [...]