My thougthts ever so often wander to who the fuck owes me money. Normally I’m not one to hold a grudge (okay, so that’s mostly a total lie) but when I add up all the money that is owed to me, it’s thousands… And that pisses me the hell off. I could buy so much!

• A lifetime supply of gummy bears or pancake mix
• A years world of brazilian waxes, maybe two depending on how I work it
• The supplies needed for a hoodmounted penny launcher, for all you morons on the road
• Enough ninja death stars to take out everyone on my list of “people to kill if I contract a terminal illness”
• Enough coke make Robert Downey Jr. do anything I want
• and… and endless supply of teletubby costumes for all my closest friends

Now do you see why I’m angry? My life could be so much better had I the money to do any of things listed above. A life without gummybear pancakes & teletubby costumes just doesn’t seem like a life that’s really worth living…