This just happened, again..

Minx: Hows things?

Dave: nay too bad tah
Dave: open fire is kinda doing it for me right now

Minx: ?

Dave: sitting by a fire

Minx: Ah, I thought that’s what you meant, but then I was all “Did he get a new plugin?”
Minx: Far more analog
Minx: anaLOG ooh hahahaha. I’m so funny.
Minx: =\

Dave: see that corner…..>
Dave: go & stand in it
Dave: and think about the awfulness of your jokes

Hell bound and I’m not sorry

Minx: yeah
Minx: i pasted that into my email

Info: oh sick

Minx: on top of things like a fatty kid on pie

Info: hahahhahaha
Info: what the shit

Minx: you not heard that?
Minx: I could have said like a rapist on a drunk slut. or the pope on a little boy…
Minx: OMG i’m going to hell!

Celebrate Abortions

Me: you know. It’s really not that expensive..

Tal: Money doesn’t matter for birthdays
Tal: As long as the abortion is enjoyed by all
Tal: Oh
Tal: Fuck
Tal: Hench typo…

Me: HAHAHA

Tal: Everyday I dislike my iPhone more and more

Me: ooh my god
Me: that was fucking brilliant.
Me: The fuck were you trying to spell?

Tal: Celebration

Me: Abortions are cause to celebrate
Me: It’s going to be the best abortion ever!

Tal: ^— anti abortion

Me: Why?
Me: If I got pregnant, you would most certainly recommend an abortion.
Me: Can you imagine, MY progeny?
Me: Middle earth would swallow the universe whole.

Tal: lol
Tal: wtf

Just beat it…

rok: hehehe
rok: i hit it a few times this morning

Me: does yours have a remote?
Me: ahh youre close enough though

rok: nah
rok: i beat it
rok: the clock that is
rok: …
rok: that sounded weird

F*ck bitches, get money.

Words of Wisdom



Seen in Baltimore, Maryland, USA.

Web design = raising children?

Me: I hate this fucking site *sends link*

Tiz: What about it?

Me: I created it

Tiz: ah, i see i see

Me: and now i want it to rot in hell
Me: this must be what it feels like to have children…

Does it Offend Jew, Yeah?

Me: There is the most Jewish guy sitting next to me on the plane right now.

Jon: Ask him to do your taxes.

My Face is Shrinking…

Jon: Do you know anything about make up?

Me: Yes, for your womanz?

Jon: No. For me.

* * * 45 minutes later * * *

Jon: I’ve got white acrylic all over my face. Not quite white foundation. But it will do for a mockup

Me: Close enough. I want to seeeeee

Jon: Its been shrinking steadily

Me: Your face?

Jon: My mum says I look a lot more handsome

Math Jokes…

Me: X = real age. Y = mental age. X*.5 = Y
Me: that makes sense, right?

Lovrien: It does to me. But I don’t do math.
Lovrien: I could see you as a 12.5-year-old.

Me: You shut the hell up! It’s only applicable to males.
Me: women are opposite

Lovrien: No women is like… x*12=y
Lovrien: Gawd, have we actually resorted to MATH JOKES?

Me: wow… we have…

Around The World, Around The World…

Me: can you look up the music video for Daft Punk Around The World & send me the embed code

Lovrien: WTF. LOL

Me: i can’t access youtube at work

Lovrien: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0HSD_i2DvA
Lovrien: That one?

Me: I can’t access youtube dingbat

Lovrien: Oh you want the code. LOL



Yes, I’m an asshole, and wasn’t around the wonderful world of web for the past two weeks. I was busy riding camels, face planting in the sand dunes of the Sahara (both of those are true stories!), getting way to drunk on beer, cider & what was apparently expensive Russian Vodka-Sorry Andy! and then sunburnt in the park. 3 Countries, 2 days, 1 massive hangover and loads of jetlag, but I’ve returned and I’ll upload some photos of my adventures