NOPE!

That is all…. for now.

When you decide to start sucking at life…

Dont.

But if you insist on turning a blind eye to all common sense and decide to have a day/week/month/lifetime of making stupid choices please limit those to choices that ONLY affect yourself.

Don’t wait until the last minute to bail on tentative plans involving other people (Especially when they involve a financial commitment). Just because you’ve sorted yourself out, doesn’t mean your job is done. What happened to ride or die? How about, “Ride or I’m going to fucking kill you.”

I’m pretty easy going with just about everything (organising my bookshelf/dishwasher aside). But, when me making plans and finding out how much money I have to spend is contingent upon you getting back to me before New Years (it’s June) and I SEE YOU ON FACEBOOK but you wont respond to my IMs or text messages… YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!

lol of the day

Unicorns who owe me money…

My thougthts ever so often wander to who the fuck owes me money. Normally I’m not one to hold a grudge (okay, so that’s mostly a total lie) but when I add up all the money that is owed to me, it’s thousands… And that pisses me the hell off. I could buy so much!

• A lifetime supply of gummy bears or pancake mix
• A years world of brazilian waxes, maybe two depending on how I work it
• The supplies needed for a hoodmounted penny launcher, for all you morons on the road
• Enough ninja death stars to take out everyone on my list of “people to kill if I contract a terminal illness”
• Enough coke make Robert Downey Jr. do anything I want
• and… and endless supply of teletubby costumes for all my closest friends

Now do you see why I’m angry? My life could be so much better had I the money to do any of things listed above. A life without gummybear pancakes & teletubby costumes just doesn’t seem like a life that’s really worth living…

Panda!

Also, epic panda dancing

I would…

Totally murder an infant for Indian from Brick Lane right now.
Or, if someone wanted to spare the untimely death of the next random child I happen to come across and were to want to bring me some (albeit somewhat of a ‘trek’ at the moment) I’d simply be eternally grateful…

Think of the children, just sayin’. Actually it’d probably be more incentive if I threatened to kick a puppy, people are far more responsive to animal cruelty than child abuse.

HAPPY CAPS LOCK DAY!

TODAY IS, FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON OR ANOTHER, CAPS LOCK DAY. WHY? I HAVEN’T A FUCKING CLUE, BUT I WILL PARTICIPATE IN HOPES OF IRRITATING THE EVERLIVING CHRIST OUT OF AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. HOORAY FOR MORE INTERNET N3RDISM GONE COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

Tell me more!

Wednesday Madness. I’m busy, that’s all you get!

Brick + Washing Machine

This completely just made my day.

Friday Funnies

Hahahaha.



Yeah, yeah. I know I need to put more arty stuff on here. I’ve been swamped with work and going insane from people in my office quoting Donald Rumsfeld. RUMSFELD! Who the fuck does that? I mean… if you’re going to quote someone and be serious while doing so, quote Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King. Or… oh, I don’t know… Jean-Luc Picard. But Rumsfeld? Please die faster.

And now… WE DRINK! (because I hate my job?)