I haven’t posted in ages. That’s because I’ve been too busy drinking and ruining my life being productive and making good life choices.
On a completely related note: I’m going to Vegas soon. I haven’t been since I was a little kid. And for anyone who knows anything, Vegas when you’re under the age of 21 (much less under 12) is like taking an infant to a strip club and expecting them to enjoy it. Sure they might appreciate the tits, for a completely different reason than they’re actually present for, but for the most part it’s the general attitude of “What the fuck am I doing here? I don’t even know what alcohol is yet so there is absolutely nothing within my realm of knowledge that could possibly make this more interesting.” Read the rest of this entry »
Me: can you look up the music video for Daft Punk Around The World & send me the embed code
Lovrien: WTF. LOL
Me: i can’t access youtube at work
Lovrien: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0HSD_i2DvA
Lovrien: That one?
Me: I can’t access youtube dingbat
Lovrien: Oh you want the code. LOL
Yes, I’m an asshole, and wasn’t around the wonderful world of web for the past two weeks. I was busy riding camels, face planting in the sand dunes of the Sahara (both of those are true stories!), getting way to drunk on beer, cider & what was apparently expensive Russian Vodka-Sorry Andy! and then sunburnt in the park. 3 Countries, 2 days, 1 massive hangover and loads of jetlag, but I’ve returned and I’ll upload some photos of my adventures
So on embarking on my holiday I got stuck in the airport (again.. prior… whatever. I’m having great luck!) So after a beer and a good buzz… yes I’m a lightweight (now) I decided to see what the hell Chatroulette! was all about. Dear god, I’m completely okay with never trying in again. within the 5 minutes that I was on it, I saw two people masturbating, a plethera of very unattractive men shirtless, and a gaggle (yes, gaggle) of underage girls staring into their webcam wondering when the next penis would pop up. Sadly, I could not fulfill their dreams. Sufficed to say, it’s weird, strange, and gross. I’d much rather stick to being perverse, halfnaked and offensive with people I know well, rather than complete strangers. At some point I’m sure that could be used against me, but… fuck it. I do what I want.
I made it the first leg of my flight just fine. Nothing major, just a cramped seat in coach that pushed my laptop into my tits when the person in front of me decided to recline. Other than that and fending on a major/minor(???) sinus issue. Then of course something has to go wrong, as we’re pushing off the tarmak of the second airport, the lovely Minneapolis the plane starts bumping and jiving, then comes to a stop. Pilot comes on in a southern twang and says that we’ve have a little “mishap” with the towbar (clearly trying to downplay some dumbass move someone just pulled). half hour, one hour, pull back to the gate. THEN… the pilots are past their duty hours and have to leave and now a new crew has to be assembled and drive their asses in, so we’re another two hours out. I’m sitting in the F (Fuck you MSP) terminal, with my butt going numb, waiting to crawl back into my big comfy seat and drink myself into a 3 hour slumber. At least the rest of my holiday went absolutely perfectly, no sarcasm, the truth! Updates soon!
I travel… A lot. I’m fluent in airport bullshit and airplane inetiquette (not a word). I’ve been stuck in countless airports for countless hours and have entertained myself through various ways of distraction and annoyance. The only thing that comes close to what you’re about so see is when I was Oovoo-ing a few friends last year while walking through the airport, laptop in arms and barely managing to keep my balance with luggage in tow. My friends did the honour of screaming racial slurs and various insults to people who were unknowingly caught in the background. Luckily for everyone I had headphones in and therefore saved myself from airport ejection on the counts of being some sort of video terrorist; or just a fucking asshole with asshole friends.
I haven’t posted in ages. That’s because I’ve been too busy 
I made it the first leg of my flight just fine. Nothing major, just a cramped seat in coach that pushed my laptop into my tits when the person in front of me decided to recline. Other than that and fending on a major/minor(???) sinus issue. Then of course something has to go wrong, as we’re pushing off the tarmak of the second airport, the lovely Minneapolis the plane starts bumping and jiving, then comes to a stop. Pilot comes on in a southern twang and says that we’ve have a little “mishap” with the towbar (clearly trying to downplay some dumbass move someone just pulled). half hour, one hour, pull back to the gate. THEN… the pilots are past their duty hours and have to leave and now a new crew has to be assembled and drive their asses in, so we’re another two hours out. I’m sitting in the F (Fuck you MSP) terminal, with my butt going numb, waiting to crawl back into my big comfy seat and drink myself into a 3 hour slumber. At least the rest of my holiday went absolutely perfectly, no sarcasm, the truth! Updates soon!
