I haven’t posted in ages. That’s because I’ve been too busy drinking and ruining my life being productive and making good life choices.
On a completely related note: I’m going to Vegas soon. I haven’t been since I was a little kid. And for anyone who knows anything, Vegas when you’re under the age of 21 (much less under 12) is like taking an infant to a strip club and expecting them to enjoy it. Sure they might appreciate the tits, for a completely different reason than they’re actually present for, but for the most part it’s the general attitude of “What the fuck am I doing here? I don’t even know what alcohol is yet so there is absolutely nothing within my realm of knowledge that could possibly make this more interesting.” Read the rest of this entry »
Charlie Sheen is (still) bat-shit crazy, and more than ever rambling on about his super awesomely intense mind, living the dream and how the rest of society are simply a bunch of “Losers.”
His spastic, coked-up interivew can be seen here. And while you’re enjoying all the “Charlie on Charlie” internet banter you can live the Sheen dream here.
I went to a rave last night. Prom style, in a limo. The only difference is we had a gallon of grey goose, two bottles of champagne, a 5th of Jager and enough beer to take down a rhinosaurus. It was apparently a “massive” which actually just turned out to be a massive fail because there was hardly anyone there.
So due to lack of good music, people, and drugs I instead took it upon myself to get shitty drunk and fuck with as many people as possible which included but was no limited to… running up to people, and saying “THIS IS AMAZING! ARE YOU HAVING FUN!??!” Then before they had a chance to answer running off to find my next victim, or grabbing random high kids by the shoulders, then jumping wildly around while asking if they were on drugs and exclaiming that I was “rolling balls” as well. And my favourite: flailing wildly until some idiot thought it was cool enough to start mimicking because it had just become ‘the best dance move ever.’ You have to entertain yourself somehow if the party is a total flop. Truth be told, I really had no interest in attending any of this other than to accompany friends and the possibility (which turned out to be ‘fuckton’) of free booze. Read the rest of this entry »
This morning afternoon was confusing as all hell for me, and I blame it all on last night. I woke up at 2:30pm thinking it could only be about 9am because naturally since I had a doctors appointment I’d wake up at a reasonable hour after a night of ungodly drinking, right? Wrong! When I saw the time I convinced that I had changed my clocks forward by 6 hours………. Why the fuck would I do that to myself? I had to open my laptop so that I finally realised & accepted that drunk self was not playing tricks on sober self, but rather, I was retarded and had simply slept in…
I blame it all on the Hennessy I was drinking, which I also learned does not go with PBR at all, or jager… or even red stripe… Then drunk self made it home, & apparently took off my clothes and made pizza (most likely in that order). After that I removed my laptop from the dock and took it in my room so I could apparently purchase a round trip ticket to Baltimore for the following morning, & watch The Wire – to prepare myself, naturally. So today, sober self ended up having a talk with drunk self and we’ve collectively decided to take a night off, hence the blogging coherently in the wee hours of the morning on a Saturday night. Sobriety: a novel concept.
And don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a strong recollection of ANY of the happenings of last night. I deduced the majority of last night by piecing together evidence throughout the house; pizza wrapper on the floor, clothes everywhere, laptop relocation, and some vague recollection of the words “Baltimore” & “airplane” being in the same thought = win/fail? I can’t decide. But, it’s not like I was drunk on the floor of some random bathroom in some random condo a city away from mine puking all over myself with my phone stuck to my face. But there’s always tomorrow!
Oh! And on the best note ever, we had the living room after party while listening to Das EFX and miggity made up our own viggity versions of the siggity wiggity song because bibbity boppity boo shabadoo doo thats how we do!
The last time (okay, second to last) I smoked I distinctly remember getting the spins… I’m not sure if I can attribute that to the combination of lots of alcohol and knowing me, probably various kinds (PBR was probably the downfall of it all), or the fact that I don’t smoke, EVER. We were at the after-hours party at a friends house, because clearly, where else would I be drunk enough at 3am to think that smoking was a remotely good idea at ALL, on ANY level. Read the rest of this entry »
Birthday fuckery (not my birthday) is about to ensue! Jesus Christ, and I’m already nursing a hangover from the night before… This weekend will be nothing short of shit-show-tastic. On a real life note, the birthday crew will be going to Alice In Wonderland this evening and so I will be reporting back over the weekend (maybe… if I’m sober enough) if it was a gargantuan piece of cinematic shit, or if Tim Burton actually did a halfway decent job with recreating the timeless story that was a huge part of our childhoods, hallucinogenic escapades, & other various heart warming moments in our lives.
It sucks when you drink 3 drinks and wake up feeling like total ass. I’ve been spilling coffee all over myself and nursing a headache this morning so the postings are a bit slow, finally getting around to perusing the intardwebz and we can see what we come up with.
New York is getting hammered with snow. Snowocalypse round II? Killer Whale… killing things… being a KILLER whale. Seriously, what an asshole, that guy. Right? other various assorted crap. I’ll probably post something about the LHC at some point in time. Okay… carry on please…
My give-a-shit meter is at an all time low today (everything is pissing me off, not matter how fucking trivial). My coworker is high on DayQuil so at least they’re providing some humorous entertainment now and again. I brought in an abnormally large can of soup for lunch, and the said DayQuilled one is rather intrigued by complexity of its size and shape. Glazed face and placid disposition, not unlike my attitude at my job everyday.
I was going to try to write about something creative and inspirational but since I’m feeling nothing of the sort, I could probably drone on and bitch about how good a double whiskey coke would be right now. Though I’m more of a wine person (some days) wine is not made for drinking fast, certainly not for chugging. We -the weekend bitch collective- have learned that the hard way, and still keep the definition of insanity alive on occasion by trying it again hopefully awaiting some random cure-all that would alleviate the next day hangover where you’d rather just die by firing squad starting at the ankles than even postulate living through. Read the rest of this entry »
Stay Connected
What’s on Twitter…
"Summer: It's not a license to squash your labia into tights" 7 days ago
I haven’t posted in ages. That’s because I’ve been too busy 
Charlie Sheen is (still) bat-shit crazy, and more than ever rambling on about his super awesomely intense mind, living the dream and how the rest of society are simply a bunch of “Losers.”
I went to a rave last night. Prom style, in a limo. The only difference is we had a gallon of grey goose, two bottles of champagne, a 5th of Jager and enough beer to take down a rhinosaurus. It was apparently a “massive” which actually just turned out to be a massive fail because there was hardly anyone there.
This 
The last time (okay, second to last) I smoked I distinctly remember getting the spins… I’m not sure if I can attribute that to the combination of lots of alcohol and knowing me, probably various kinds (PBR was probably the downfall of it all), or the fact that I don’t smoke, EVER. We were at the after-hours party at a friends house, because clearly, where else would I be drunk enough at 3am to think that smoking was a remotely good idea at ALL, on ANY level.
Birthday fuckery (not my birthday) is about to ensue! Jesus Christ, and I’m already nursing a hangover from the night before… This weekend will be nothing short of shit-show-tastic. On a real life note, the birthday crew will be going to Alice In Wonderland this evening and so I will be reporting back over the weekend (maybe… if I’m sober enough) if it was a gargantuan piece of cinematic shit, or if Tim Burton actually did a halfway decent job with recreating the timeless story that was a huge part of our childhoods, hallucinogenic escapades, & other various heart warming moments in our lives.
It sucks when you drink 3 drinks and wake up feeling like total ass. I’ve been spilling coffee all over myself and nursing a headache this morning so the postings are a bit slow, finally getting around to perusing the intardwebz and we can see what we come up with.
My give-a-shit meter is at an all time low today (everything is pissing me off, not matter how fucking trivial). My coworker is high on DayQuil so at least they’re providing some humorous entertainment now and again. I brought in an abnormally large can of soup for lunch, and the said DayQuilled one is rather intrigued by complexity of its size and shape. Glazed face and placid disposition, not unlike my attitude at my job everyday.
